Waiting is always hard to do. It’s sucks..!
I really don’t know what to do (kalo istilah keren nya, “MATI GAYA”), so i decide to back (again) to this blog and write something. I really don’t give a fvck to people who hate me. Or anyone else who said, men shouldn’t have to write.
Well.. this is a blog, you fvckin idiot. You’re wrong to judge other people as you pleased.
Oh.. and i like to write as much as i like to read!
A couple days ago, I watch a news about Marshanda (again). And I really curious why am I not as famous as her.
Gw udah lama sakit dari dia lho.. kenapa harus dibesar-besarin? Really..
I told you, I’m a person with bipolar.
And every single things that I wrote in this blog is my personal experience, and also professional opinion from doctors and books about health issue.
I never said I’m an expert about Bipolar Disorder, and I never told anyone that i can cure anything. Because I just shared my experience.
Please find help if you think you had Bipolar Disoder!
Bipolar disorder is not cool. It’s a mental disorder!
And it sometimes got misdiagnosis as schizophrenia, so you need help from profesional. Don’ believe random things on internet.
many of my friends who suffered from bipolar are far more creative who works as a painter, poet, etc., and they have their respective media to share.
And I choose blogging.
Average posts on this blog, I created from scratch and from the first word until the end when i publish it takes about 2-3 hours. Or sometimes, i need more or less.
I know that was a very long time for a simple and meaningless post, but there’s a struggle in it.
Being a person with bipolar (who are now already) lightly nowadays, it does not seem like a big deal. But I have trouble organizing my mood, which is what makes me still says not yet healed.
I can leave a post in the draft almost a week before I move on or move to a ‘trash’. Most of it ended up there.
While other drafted posts can be rescued normally takes a maximum of 3 hoursor more until I finished it and then i publish.
This is not a write’s block. Not because I ran out of ideas to write. Man, you don’t know me.. I had a lot of idea. All the time. But controlling my mood? that’s the main problem.
I can suddenly upset, or just not in the mood even to touch the keyboard.
But actually, the thing that can makes me feel better is to write on this blog.
A few hours after I lost my mood, I (normally) will open my draft.
I will read from the beginning, it might actually like looking for an answers to what really makes me lose the mood.
Sometimes I found myself puzzling over this.
People with bipolar sometimes struggled to heal itself. But, couldn’t and really need help.
So, please help.. Don’t ask why.. Just help who need you!