I am a paradox. I am neather happy nor am I sad.
I am smile at pretty things, and laugh at funny things.
But late at night I become a mess of emotions and thoughts and I wish I could just disappear.
Night is a time that is most complicated of all. I tried not to overthinking about what just happened and what will happen next. Like most of the nights that already passed. I dream on most of my sleep. But on some of them, I’ve passed without one. And that’s okay since that means my brain stop thinking for a little while.
I would like to have an ability to fold my own shadow. It would be very cool, right? I can always use my shadow to create an origami crane and make an infinity of it. And so I have something to do when I’m on my sleepless night. When i can’t sleep. When I can’t close my eyes. When my mind start wandering of the universe and won’t come back until the night is change into light. And when those repeating it self.
Night is an amazing life creature. They know I’m tired but it won’t stop them to seduce me into a black pool of tears. Sometimes I wonder if they knew I am still alive because of those memories that they’ve made and make sure I’ll never forget? Even at some occasion, they let me laugh till I cried. Enjoying tears that taste salty but sweet.
Memories of the nights that always haunts me. That came late at night and keeps me awake for the rest of it. Memories that i deserve to remember.
Night always bring myself to a mess. But never said that day is the cure. I just live like this. That’s the only thing that I want to say. Night is the time for reviewing my emotions.
Nothing’s here is really important anyway. Just having another dreamless night. If only, I can sleep.