I think I rarely tried to write anything when my mood is good.
Mostly I’m here when i feel down. when i feel depressed.
Because I need a place to write down about my feeling. I have no one to talk to, so ya.. here i am.
Speaking of depressed, i really think people tend to change when they’re under certain pressure.
But how they change depends on the person itself.
We can not impose our will to other person. We can only do it to our self.
And even so, sometimes people make their own rule, some kind of “cheat day” and then forget their first goal that they want to achieve.
And everything starts from the beginning. Again.
I know some people who when depressed, they tend to hurt themselves, some are sleeping for hours, and some like me, trying to write stories about the feelings felt at the time.
And as a person with bipolar disorder, I sometimes feel grateful for this.
Just so you know, it’s not bipolar disorder’s fault you want to suicide when you feel depressed.
It’s because of you. Your mind.
When i knew that i had this disorder, i really want to change. And it’s not easy.
I want to feel better about myself. I want to feel at ease.
My experiment sometimes failed, and I had to find another way to overcome my depression.
And it’s not only happen once, but repeatedly, continuously until I find what my passion is.
I want to change.
I want to be a better person.
I don’t want to be the same person I was.
So I need to think about my depression as a condition that makes me to change.
It’s not just like I want to be me. But I want to be a better me…