I just found out something that I never ever expected before.
The fact that depression can affect someone in a various and un-imaginable ways is truly horrifying.
Day, the most perfect woman (till now) that i know besides my mom, turned out to have acute depression.
AND I NEVER FOUND OUT….!
She is very good at hiding it.
She is very good at supporting me.
And I never expect to found out in such a terrible way.
(I’m sorry Day, but I need to write this. You know me…)
I was openly said that I had Bipolar Disorder to anyone that I know. And I was tried to help others who are having the same problem as mine.
But there are other people, like Day, who are focusing on helping other people instead of openly said that she also suffered from depression.
She always act like nothing happen in her life.
She always support me like I was the one who are terrible with my disorder.
She always be the one who check on me first (how selfish I am, I know).
She never put a frown on her face anytime we meet.
And it makes me feel so stupid.
Right now, I’m writing this at the Hospital. Waiting for her to wake up.
Day was found unconscious in her apartment this afternoon.
Her roomates emailed me, and at that time, I bought the fastest ticket to get there.
Well, her roomates told me that this is not the first time. (and i never know about that)
She said, “She is the best in her job. It can be tough sometimes..”
I know. I know exactly how it feels.
And I know how depression can affect my mind when I can’t control my mood-swing.
Suicide seems to be the easiest way to end the pain.
But no.. it’s not the right way.
That’s what she always said to me…
No, i am not disappointed. I just feel sad because I can not do anything for her.
I will write again if I had time.
She is awake, and I need to talk to her right now.